The Blog of Genius

How to survive a zombie attack.

A nifty study of zombie movies and the mistakes the victims of the undead make before they are eaten.

Star Links.

Flying Spagetti Monster.

My amazingly beautiful girlfriend showed me this. Another view of creation science. Haha.

Once upon a time in China, some believe, around the year one double-ought three. Head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Vin Diesel was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Vin Diesel’s infinite power contemplates - which is another way of saying “who knows” - when a Shaolin monk appeared, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Vin Diesel, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Vin Diesel or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known, are the consequences. The next morning Vin Diesel appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple’s head abbot that he offer Vin Diesel his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Vin Diesel, only to find Vin Diesel was inconsolable. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all 60 of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Vin Diesel’s five point palm exploding heart technique.

Random Facts…

Now that my exile in Texas is over, I have been given eight days to pack up and move to Columbia, MO. If my posts here are rare for the next week or so, you will have to excuse me.

Jumping from a plane and landing safely without a parachute. As I understand it, if you get a little Italian guy to step on a maple leaf, he will put on a racoon suit that looks suspiciously like this. At least, it worked in Super Mario Brothers 3.

Link.

On a side note, I would like to make known that an eightteen inch long zuccini is more durable than you would expect. About ten bucks worth of cheap fireworks stuffed inside one do hardly any damage.

Man, really, give me a month or so and I’ll get back in the routine of updating this thing. Please don’t give up on it.

So, the forth of July, that most American of holidays, identified not only by basic cable marathons but also the legal sale and purchase of small explosives. It is remarkable to me just how hollow the whole fireworks exxperience is: a lot of commotion, loud pop, a brief sparkle, and all that remains is a whisp of smoke. Crowds ‘oooh’ and ‘aaah’ until the show is over, then they turn and slowly walk away. Those that put on the show spend the next hour picking up small burnt pieces of cardboard.

Well, on a lighter note: how much is in a sharpie?

I’m not sure if the experiment is “scientific” or not, honestly, I just found it and thought it would be humorous to post. Really, I haven’t even read it. Terrible, I know.

But something I have read: 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars Episode I.

Ah, now here is a good use of my having seen Episode I. In all fairness, he does tear apart the other movies in the prequel trilogy. As far as the originals go, he has a few nitpicks about their retreatment in the Special Editions. A purist, a man after my own heart.

Something you really don’t have to read: If I had an office, this is how I would decorate it.

I was looking at one of my friend’s (Susan) online journal and found this quiz. Apparently, I am most like Grievous. You see, we both have four arms.

Quiz

So, yeah, I’m at camp now. The Camp site is here. In one of the classes at this camp, I’m making another site by use of FrontPage. That can be seen here. under First Period, choose first session and first week. James Richardson is in there somewhere. Click on my name, and you get my dinky, not nearly as cool site.

Wow. So, I’ve been at camp for a week now. It went by fast. Two more weeks to go and then I rest for a while. Then come back. This is my last year here and I’m enjoying it thus far. Awesome.

I haven’t done this for a while, so I figured I needed to sit down and post a few links that have been taking up space in my bookmarks folder.

It just occured to me that it has been…maybe a year since I last ate a banana. Strange.

The other day, I was driving to the store, and I was looking at a bumpersticker on the car ahead of me. So I took off my sunglasses and squented and wondered why my telescopic vision wasn’t working. Then I remembered that I don’t have telescopic vision. For a moment, I was sad, then I put my sunglasses back on and bought a taco.

i used to believe…

I used to believe that if you buried your pets in your backyard that they’d come back to life and try to come in your house. Therefor, it was always wise to bury your dead pets in someone else’s backyard (unless you were fond of the undead).

How Lightsabers Work

A nice read for the Star Wars season. For those of you who don’t know, the lightsaber is the weapon of a Jedi. Here is an explaination of how exactly it operates.

Lightsabers

For those of you without a lightsaber…

ihateclowns.com

There are people in this world who dress up and act like clowns; I don’t like these people. I am not clownophobic (or to be politically /scientifically correct, coulrophobic). I do not fear clowns. Really. I don’t. They are just not nice people. They scare little kids, they cause neurosis in some adults, they have big floppy feet, they try to fit too many of their kind in a car, I could go on and on.

The Complete Bushisms

Putting words in the mouth of the president. What more can I say. Several are put to music. Interesting.

One Word

A kind of word association project. They give you “one word” and you are asked to write a short paragraph describing and defining the word.

Ball

A simple and addictive game that I seem to be slightly hooked on.

I had a tire blow out today while I was driving down the road. Fun times. Now, more links.

Zombocom

Im not sure what this is, but I think it is hilarious.

History of the Internet

A brief timeline covering the past of this thing I use so often. Helpful to know, important to remember. As you already know, unless we know our past, we are doomed to repeat it. I don’t want that.

Boxed Thoughts

I know this was mentioned on G4 the other night, but I found it before that. I was the 163rd person to register; I joined the second day it was up, which was Sunday, I think. A nice little experiment in human thought and the collective consciousness of the internet. Fun to read, and a point of pride for me.

Wallpapers

A site I found containing several thousand high quality wallpapers for your comp. I like it.

How to destroy the earth

An old site (I found it a while back), but still worth your attention. A realistic view o how to destroy the world. (hint: most of them involve waiting)

Man, have I fallen behind in keeping this thing up? Saturday… oh, the weekend. My parents bought a new vacuum cleaner today, a Windtunnel. Man, are our carpets clean. I have a folder full of bookmarks to clean out, so here goes:

Pi:

Not just a dessert item any more. Take note of the url when you get a chance. Clever.

Prognosticate:

A fun little game involving current events and random guessing. Frustrating, but a few minutes entertainment.

” If God made a burrito so hot that even He could not eat it, Vin Diesel would eat it with Fire sauce from Taco Bell.”

I couldn’t help myself.

Binary Translator:

Its application, I have no idea. but fun, none the less.

“01010111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00111111 00100000 01001001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01110110 01100001 01101100 01110101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 ”

More later, perhaps.

I couldn’t resist.

…random facts about Vin Diesel:

After a grueling 47 day battle with Walt Disney, Vin Diesel finally beat him at rock, paper, scissors and thus froze Disney solid. Disney’s frozen body is now on display at Vin Diesel’s fortress of badassitude.

There is an underused feature on the batman utility belt. A button that calls Vin Diesel.

Vin Diesel has to swallow rocks to assist in digestion, since he simply has no time to chew his food. He usually quenches his thirst with Molotov Cocktails.

His intestines can hold 13% more bacon than mere mortals.

Vin takes three-month vacations between each of his movie shoots. During this time, he teaches an advanced level course in poetry composition at Yale. The course is notoriously difficult to get into, and out of.

…and now, a random fact about Vin Diesel:

Saying the words “MOLAKUM, VORADEUS, GLORKANO!” will turn his skin bright green for 20 minutes. You can do this up to 6 times a day.

Vin Diesel once fixed Stephen Hawking’s body. Then Hawking tried to take over the world but Vin Diesel broke Hawking’s body again after defeating him in Scrabble.

He often walks into children’s hospitals dressed as a doctor and tells kids they’re going to die. Then he yells “Just kiddin’!” and jumps out the window.

For every Vin Diesel there is an opposite Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel heard about this and promptly destroyed his opposite self. This created a paradox that unraveled the space-time continuum. Consequently, we are currently living inside Vin Diesel’s imagination.

Vin Diesel is actually Luke’s father.

Now my personal favorite:

Vin Diesel took an oath to use his powers for good, but one night, he got drunk and killed a hooker. The police never found a body though, because he had unhinged his jaw and swallowed the body whole.

…hours of fun to be had.

You know, this blog would look better if I was to put a few of these in every day rather than unload in one post.

Find Hitler

Think of Where’s Waldo, but with more marching and vigorous speeches. The site displays a group of ten random black and white pictures, each of which includes Adolf Hitler in some way. Fun game for the first three rounds, then you realize you are doing and change pages.

Not Doctor Pepper

You know how every chain of grocery stores has its own version of Dr. Pepper? Here, all those variations are catalogued for your viewing entertainment.

Yagoohoo!gle

Just like it sounds.

Experiment 1940

An odd little film about a Soviet project to resurrect dead tissue. Maybe a small piece of propaganda, but it’s interesting still.

Shirt I Want
Jacket I Want

For those of you that watch Red vs Blue, you probably remember the “You lied to me.” line. Think of Caboose and the transporter. Now you get it. See, the shirt is black… I’m not going to explain.

Midichlorian Count

Proof I am a nerd. Again, I’m not going to explain.

I’ve got a stack of stuff to post and little time to do it in.

The Amazing Spiderman

I found this… wow, maybe two months ago. I’m really falling behind with this stuff.

Date to Save

Thanks to Mike for the url. Possibly the worst idea ever concieved. I’m not even convenced it is legitimate.

Acid Trip

A study of LSD’s effects on coordination and perception. Sad thing is, my sober drawing would look like the artist’s after three and a half hours.

Master Chief Armor

Two words: “fan boy”. Aside from the enormous helmut and tiny body, quality stuff. A hobby for those with less of a life than I (and that is saying alot).

Trashcade

For those people that feel the need to take recycling to the extreme.

Songs in Reverse

Fun with rock and roll. I’m going to let you see for yourself. Flash is a wonderful thing.

Sugar Bush Squirrel

Finally, a rodent supermodel. Watch out, though: he knows kung fu.

Finally, the one thing I need to round out my evil underground lair. Did I spell ‘lair’ correctly? I really don’t know. What I do know, though, is that concentrating the suns rays to burn a path of glory to my ultimate conquest of the planet is all good.

Warning:

The sun is bright. Don’t look at the sun or you will damage your
eyes. Anything that focuses the sun will only make it more
dangerous. The Solar Death Ray is dangerous. Don’t build one.
I’m surprised I haven’t burnt or blinded myself yet. The fumes
from molten plastic can’t be good either. Don’t play with fire.

For all you Trillian 3 users…Deviantart.com has skins for Trillian 3x not listed on Trillian’s website. Sure beats the default Whistler skin!

For those of you that haven’t downloaded and convertend to Trillian yet, you can go here and save yourself the embarrassment of AIM or Windows Messenger.

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Sin City Trailer

It really gives you a sense for just how painstakingly Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller went about creating this film. Some shots are very similar while others are damn near exact.

I want to see this movie very badly. Moreso, I want to get my hands on a couple of Miller’s graphic novels…my kinda comic books.

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